Wednesday, November 22, 2006

schwilligs take manhattan

The Muppets did it first and better, but we nonetheless here boldly declare our intention to take Manhattan.

We're in New York for a top secret consulting contract involving maglev hovercraft technology, rappelling down the sides of buildings, and organics. We can't say more.

Tonight was the Macy's Tryptophantastic Pre-Parade Inflation Ceremony. During tomorrow's annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, Snoopy, Big Bird, Spongebob, Super Grover, and other giant-size cartoon creatures will soar godlike over the streets and into our hearts. But before their miraculous rising, they have to be pumped full of helium. The Inflation Ceremony is held under bright blitzkrieg lights in the cloudy outdoor cathedral of the American Museum of Natural History, Central Park West. The parade balloons are held in place during inflation by huge nets anchored by a sandbag perimeter. Stoic Macy's acolytes in orange jumpsuits diligently monitor the helium tanks, check hoses and fittings, and test the balloons for suppleness and lift. Throngs of supplicants file by whispering prayers, leaving burnt offerings, etc. Under the watchful eyes of Auxiliary NYPD, the crowds are funnelled through a series of barricades and then sent around the museum grounds on a one-way route that ensures happy traffic flow; the signs say "Enter here for inflation." We sure will, and did. Everything goes like clockwork.






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