Images courtesy of Grandpa Foto.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
fogelberg is dead; long live loggins
At last, clarity and closure is in sight for everyone who was dragged into the Soft Rock Mortality Debate of Ought-Eight. For those of you who missed the angsty spectacle, I was absolutely sure and prepared to swear on a stack of Bread albums that Kenny Loggins died in 2007. It turns out I arrived at this burning erroneous conviction by not paying strict attention during one of those Grammy award show in memoriam montages.
The soft-rock icon I had in mind is Dan Fogelberg, who died of prostate cancer in December 2007. He must have been the one who was Grammorialized. Distracted by the crunch of potato chips during the Grammys, I half-heard "Fogelberg," which was immediately misfiled in my memory banks as "Loggins"---an amateurish but understandable conflation, I think---by the brain's equivalent of a nebbish, disgruntled, cardigan-wearing file clerk overflowing with bitter resentment at being forced to plod daily through endless, fluorescent-lit mental pathways choked with cognitive clutter in futile hope of finding an archivally accurate home for useless pieces of information that will never ever need to be retrieved. Armed with this dangerous misinformation, I proceeded to spread it around with solemn certainty, which must have put poor Kenny into the danger zone. He was probably struggling to keep his head above ground the whole time. Whatever personal struggles with mortality he may have faced, his career seems to be resuscitating nicely with the release of a new album in 2007. What a relief.
My sincere apologies to everyone involved.
The soft-rock icon I had in mind is Dan Fogelberg, who died of prostate cancer in December 2007. He must have been the one who was Grammorialized. Distracted by the crunch of potato chips during the Grammys, I half-heard "Fogelberg," which was immediately misfiled in my memory banks as "Loggins"---an amateurish but understandable conflation, I think---by the brain's equivalent of a nebbish, disgruntled, cardigan-wearing file clerk overflowing with bitter resentment at being forced to plod daily through endless, fluorescent-lit mental pathways choked with cognitive clutter in futile hope of finding an archivally accurate home for useless pieces of information that will never ever need to be retrieved. Armed with this dangerous misinformation, I proceeded to spread it around with solemn certainty, which must have put poor Kenny into the danger zone. He was probably struggling to keep his head above ground the whole time. Whatever personal struggles with mortality he may have faced, his career seems to be resuscitating nicely with the release of a new album in 2007. What a relief.
My sincere apologies to everyone involved.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
area boy stars in reality show
Exciting news, everyone. Our grand plan to pimp out the boy as a child actor in order to bankroll his *college education* has taken its first tentative steps. We just got the call from his sleazy agent. His future is assured, as is our position as his crazy, controlling, gold-digging parents.
He'll be starring in an edgy new reality series called "Crib of Love." Check out the trailer, and watch for it soon on the Schwillig Network.
He'll be starring in an edgy new reality series called "Crib of Love." Check out the trailer, and watch for it soon on the Schwillig Network.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
schwilligco announces new handheld
SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA - Minnesota-based personal electronics firm SchwilligCo unveiled the Huckleberry, a new addition to their industry-leading handheld device line, at a press conference on Saturday. With its fully-integrated monotasking functionality, pacification plug-ins, No-Tooth connectivity, and coo/cry notifications, the Huckleberry is touted as a significant advance in personal inefficiency technology.
Photo courtesy of SchwilligCo
According to SchwilligCo CEO and spokesmodel Kelly Billig, "We're extremely pleased and excited about this product launch. We think the Huckleberry's simplicity and ease of interactivity will revolutionize the way people work. We're all overloaded, overscheduled, oversaturated, and multi-tasking as fast as we can. The Huckleberry shows us another way. Plus, it's super cute!"
The Huckleberry is immediately available in limited numbers at licensed SchwilligCo dealers.
SchwilligCo is expected to phase out the current Tula, Dusty, and Flea device lines in the next year.
Photo courtesy of SchwilligCoThe Huckleberry is immediately available in limited numbers at licensed SchwilligCo dealers.
SchwilligCo is expected to phase out the current Tula, Dusty, and Flea device lines in the next year.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Sunday, March 09, 2008
(chocolate) chip off the old block
The home/work baton was passed last week, not without a few tears. But let's not dwell on that sad fact. Suffice it to say Papa is now home full time, while Mama sallies forth into the workplace to bring home the bacon.
In an attempt to set the bar impossibly high and blow our homemaking wad right away, we decided on Day 2 of the New Order to make chocolate chip cookies. A double batch, no less, which was a gutsy call considering the baker's shady reputation as a kitchen improviser. And in fact, the recipe was thrown into chaos by the addition of an untried Secret Ingredient at the eleventh hour. Luckily, it all turned out fine in the end (i.e. the cookies were edible).
Kitchen-confidential note to all you M. Stewart wannabes out there: No kitchen professional worth his salt would be caught dead these days without his very own front-loading strap-on sous chef. Handy! And cute!
In an attempt to set the bar impossibly high and blow our homemaking wad right away, we decided on Day 2 of the New Order to make chocolate chip cookies. A double batch, no less, which was a gutsy call considering the baker's shady reputation as a kitchen improviser. And in fact, the recipe was thrown into chaos by the addition of an untried Secret Ingredient at the eleventh hour. Luckily, it all turned out fine in the end (i.e. the cookies were edible).
Kitchen-confidential note to all you M. Stewart wannabes out there: No kitchen professional worth his salt would be caught dead these days without his very own front-loading strap-on sous chef. Handy! And cute!
Saturday, March 01, 2008
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